I got rolling on this post, but deleted it all, because it just sounded wrong. Sticky. Not me.
I need to find some serious motivation to get back into shape. I don't want to obsess over eating clean and sticking to work out schedules however. That always leaves me feeling worse than when I started, because I never seem to be able to stick to any of it, and I feel like a failure.
Willow's maybe, but not mine.
I need to get motivated to get back into shape, so that I can set a good example for Shannon, and really I can't expect my horse to compete like an athlete if I'm not physically there either.
It's time to hit the pavement, and take my mother up on her offer of watching the baby for a little bit (until she's big enough for a jogger) so I can get a run in, even though I HATE running on the pavement. M would be a wonderful running buddy, I'm sure, but honestly I'm embarressed that he'll smoke the hell out of me. My self-esteem is SO fragile when it comes to all things working out, it's almost pathetic. I'm my worst critic, by far.
Really, I started like this...
14 weeks!
Got to look like this...
40 Weeks
Now I look like this...
6 Weeks PP
There is a little extra jiggle, and I've got a few stretch marks. I really can't complain.
But.
I'm hoping that by blogging about my adventures, I'll hold myself more accountable. A few miles on the pavement a couple times a week isn't going to kill me. I don't have to blast back into work like it's what I do because its really not. I am, however, going to put myself on a schedule. Maybe getting a few Zumba DVDs, Netflix yoga, and a run 3-4 times a week won't be a bad thing. I'm not setting any goals, I just want the motivation to be a little healthier.
M and I have a mutual friend (well she was his best friend first, but she's pretty much one of the most amazing people that I know. I'm SO lucky and blessed to have gotten to know her) and she balances a full time job, a 4 y/o, and still manages to run, and make the MOST amazing meals ever. I need a little bit of whatever she's on. In all seriousness, I really want to try to use her as a role model. When I start whining to myself, I need to think... look at what a badass she is and she never bitches. I need to shut the hell up, and just do it so I can be half as badass as her.
Reading a few of her Facebook posts are really what have got me rolling on all this...so if you ever read this girl, you know who you are!
That's the word that describes my morning right now!
Husband and Baby are upstairs sleeping, so I have the WHOLE quiet downstairs to myself to enjoy my coffee before it gets cold (I'm a pro at cold coffee) and actually write this blog post.
Ahh...
We had a wonderful weekend with my family. My sister's boyfriend had his Junior Piano Recital and it was amazing. Hands down the best piano playing I've seen... ever. He did this awesome duet type thing with his teacher, and it gave me goosebumps.
There was another kid that sang and was equally amazing. He sang Italian, Latin, German (my fav), French, and then English. That cannot be easy at all!
I really commend both of them, and I'm so lucky that we were able to go up as a family to see it.
All that amazingness meant that M, Shannon and I got to take our first ever overnight roadtrip with the family to New Hampshire and Maine.
We were very excited to get going. At least, I was.
The drive down was rather uneventful.
As was documented in this video!
We got there just in time to change and enjoy the amazingness that was the recital, and afterwards we checked into our hotel.
We stayed at the Ramada Inn, in Kittery. We got bedbugs.
Sigh
We enjoyed hanging out the rest of the night with my family. My Parents, Mimmie, and Grandparents were able to all come up. We really had a GREAT time.
Sunday morning we hit the ground running, and met up for breakfast by 9.
We ate at this UH-MAZING little resturant called The Golden Egg. It was delicious, and such a cute little place. If you're ever in Portsmouth, NH, I'd highly recommend stopping there to eat.
We had a little bit of a wait, and my Grandpa doesn't particulary look amused about it. His friend the armrest, however, seemed to be enjoying things.
After breakfast, we all went our seperate ways. M and I decided to explore the area a little bit. Portsmouth is such an adorable town. Its full of history, old buildings, and great shopping.
Sadly I did not partake in much shopping, except when we went to The Kittery Trading Post.
First we had to do a diaper change, so we stopped at Great Island Common, which was a huge park right on the water. It had a couple small football/soccer fields, a picnic area, a HUGE playground, a cemetary, and some beautiful views.
It was super windy.
Old Naval Prison. It looked like such a huge place, and I wanted to go explore it, but it was on the Navy Yard and we just didn't have time. It looks epic though.
After that we hit up the Kittery Trading Post to indulge our outdoorsy side before starting the trip home.
This bull moose was HUGE! I was in shock. I've never seen a moose in real life, so I'm always taken back when I see one that's stuffed. Everybody says that they are huge creatures, but everybody says that my horse is a huge creature, and she doesn't have a THING on this sucker!
We got started on the trip home after this excursion (we got Shannon the CUTEST stuffed moose) and it was pretty uneventful.
I nursed Shannon for the first time in public with a cover on at Applebees, and I thought M was going to have a total meltdown. It was a little tricky, and I had to do some fighting with the cover and my clothes but in the end Shannon ate, we ate, and life was good. We got some funny stares, but I just smiled at everybody and nobody said anything. Unlike the lady in the parking lot at breakfast, but I digress.
Other than that, the ride home was pretty boring.
*This video contains a bit of foul language... you've been warned*
And just so everybody knows, the rest stop in Williston (heading North) has free coffee.
Shannon entertained us with her pooping skills when we stopped to pee, and feed her. That kid really puts her heart and soul into all her poops, and she really makes it known. It cracks me up everytime. Possibly because I'm immature. I also laugh hysterically when she farts.
We got home safe and sound and agreed that we'd had a fantastic weekend.
On the equine side of life... Willow had her first outing on the lunge line on Friday afternoon and she was a superstar. She didn't even offer a buck, or sillyness. She just put her head down and went to work. She ran around higgledy piggledy for a bit, which was expected because she hasn't been worked in forever and has no muscle to help balance herself, but I moreso wanted to get an idea of what her attitude was going to be. I was very very pleased with her. She was very businesslike and didn't even have any issues when somebody was shooting back at the sandpits behind the barn. She threw her head up and kind of stopped, but when I clucked to her she went right forward again and didn't bother with it again.
Next time I'm putting a bridle on her though, as she pulled a little bit and if push came to shove, I didn't have much control at all.
M is on leave from now until he leaves for school (with the exception of Thursday, he has to give a PT test), so hopefully he'll be able to get some video of her when I work her tomorrow.
Excuse my outfit... but yea, she's a pretty big mare.
After seeing what a solid mare she was on the line, I'm even more excited to get her going!
I ran out to Walker's to get a few things that I needed. I sold the majority of my stuff last year, to help make rent, so now I need to fill some of the gaps in my collection.
Oh darn.
There are just a few things left to get for her, like a flash attachment, leathers and irons for the saddle that B is letting me use, a girth, and probably a set of side reins. I'm trying to break M into all these expenses slowly. He's still green. ;-)
I'm going to see if he'll spring for a nice new dressage coat for my birthday in June.
Hear that M? I hope you read this... love you!
I also got a new pair of boots, since Lucca ever so wonderfully peed all over my CUSTOM Ariat half-chaps. I decided since I needed a new pair of tall boots anyways, and sales were happening, I should just get a pair of those. I happily picked up a pair of Dublins on serious sale. I managed to keep the whole trip under $200, and was pretty proud of myself.
The cat also was kind enough to pee on my nice running shoes... I'm beginning to hate her.
The other thing that I did for Willow, was get her supplements ordered.
Finally.
It's only been almost a month.
I was shocked at the prices of everything, as she needs a joint supplement and a digestive aid. I finally broke down and investigated the SmartPak website.
The angels started to sing.
Smartpak's are awesome. You can read the whole idea of them on the website, but holy savings.
I put Willow on B-L Pellets for her joint supplement, and SmartDigest for her digestive aid, and I'm pretty happy with my choices. I also want to keep researching flaxseed, as it's supposed to be kind of an all in one supplement. Its an anti-inflammatory, digestive aid, and provides a lot of Omega-3s so her coat will be all sparkly as well. There are some mixed reviews about it, so I want to research it indepth before I add them to her feed regimen. She has a very delicate digestive system, so I'm research anything that goes into her mouth to the nth degree. It's a bit pathetic.
Anyways, SmartPak is saving me about $70 a month, and they have auto-delivery so if you have a hubby like M, who likes to plan, and know excatly what things cost and when they are going to cost him, it's perfection.
That and $30/month for two supplements auto-delivered to my doorstep, preportioned and prepackaged works for me. Even when we move, I don't have to worry about the new barn misfeeding her.
I'm also a control freak.
This post has been long enough for certain, so I'm off to clean some tack, then the family is off on an adventure to Costco (my least favorite place in the world), and possibly a haircut!
Nothing very fun is going on these days in the household.
I've had just about nothing to blog about.
M got his school dates, and he's leaving in just a few weeks instead of a few months like we thought, but my whole attitude is 'git-r-done'. The sooner he starts, the sooner we put it behind us. I would have loved it if Shannon had been sleeping through the night a little bit better, but it's not like I'm going to force her, and I certianly can't ignore her if she cries. It's just something that I'm going to have to grin and deal with. I'm okay with that. Plenty of women do it all the time, and for a lot longer than a month or so, so I don't really feel like I have lisence to complain.
I was on my facebook account today while I was nursing, and I'm still 'friends' with a lot of kids I went to highschool with. They are always posting about wine nights, house parties, going away for spring break, and the newest fashion trends.
I, on the other hand, am in bed between 9-10 every night, enjoy weekends that consist of a trip to Wal*Mart for diapers, and have a song about poop. I'm very much sober when I sing this song about poop, and I sing it more than once a day.
If you had told me in highschool that when I was the age that I am now, I'd be married with a little one, I would have laughed right in your face.
Kids weren't in the cards for me. I did want a family, but I wanted it eventually. I wanted it after I had accomplished all the goals that I had for myself. I wanted it after I had a successful career in the horse industry, had shown overseas, and I have lived a little bit.
I wouldn't change it for the world now.
I love my husband with all my heart. I love my daughter with all my heart.
I'm not out at the barn everyday.
I traded my jean shorts and tank tops for sweatshirts and workout shorts.
My hair is constantly in a ponytail or a bun.
I don't get the chance to shower in the morning, or sometimes at all during the day.
It takes me an hour to get out of the house.
My only form of communication most days is about a foot tall and pees her britches.
The only horse shows I'll probably go to this summer are the ones I can broadcast on the USEF Network.
I put my keys in the freezer often, because I'm fairly sleep deprived.
I am no longer a stranger to 2 am.
I don't remember the last time I had a beer.
I can whip my boob out and shove it in a screaming mouth faster than a stripper could ever dream.
I sing a song about poop. Stone cold sober. Often.
I could totally survive with only one arm.
I wouldn't trade a damn thing for the world. I love every minute of being a Mom. Even when those minutes include being covered in poop, wincing because of the new decible level S has manage to achieve, or doing the walk n' bounce at 2 am because she's convinced she's starving to death.
I know that it's not for everybody, and I am a little jealous of my classmates who have a very small idea about responsibilty. Yes, they have important dead lines and classes to attend. I have an entire LIFE to attend to. A human being that can't do a thing for herself. Do I doubt that any of them could dial it up if they were faced with the same challange? Not for a second.
All it takes is one of those huge, gummy smiles or a giggle to make everything worth it. All the things that M and I have sacrificed. All the sleepless night, spit-up covered shirts, the added zip code that is my thighs, the absence of a social life some days, and the mess that my house has become.
It's all worth it.
You can have your parties, booze, and carefree-ness.
Saturday we took advantage of the BEAUTIFUL weather and did a little bit of shopping in town. I had to get Wil a new sheet for the warmer weather, and some polos since it'll be time to get back to work! We also kept up the hunt for my ATC gown, but no luck still. All the ones that I like are too expensive to just be worn once, and all the ones that are in my price range are ugly, or don't fit. We'll find one soon I hope, we still have about a month to go.
I also got to test out my sling at the Home Show we went to (admission was free, and M wanted to go and see the tractors. He's such a kid at heart.) and it was PERFECT! No trying to push through crowds with a stroller, or navigate tight spaces. I loved it. Shannon loved it too, she curled right up and slept the entire time.
I don't think that I would use it if I brought her clothes shopping, or to the barn, but it's great if you're just going to be walking around, or I'm trying to get stuff done around the house and she's fussing. She likes the sound of the vacuumm cleaner so the next time she's fighting a nap, I'm going to test it out.
M also found his dream piece of farm equipment.
It could be all his for the low price of $15K. I'd rather have a new horse, but I did admit that it looked pretty mean.
We also (finally) got a U.S. Army flag for the house. I've been wanting one for forever.
Sunday M's Mom came up to visit with Shannon so I went shopping with my Mom for a new top for a work function that I have to go to with M at the end of the month. We also have a piano recital for my sister's boyfriend on the same day, so it'd have to double. We didn't have much luck though. Shannon on the other hand, got lucky and we found her the CUTEST dress for the recital and possibly easter if we can't find anything else. The cute little poofy dresses are $40 each, and I can't justify spending that much on something that she's going to wear maybe twice, and probably puke/poop on. I also hit up the grocery store, since our cupboards are a bit bare, and I came across this stuff...
It's DELISH! 0 Calories, 0 Sugar, 0 Carbs, 0 everything... and only 3 ingredients that I could pronounce! It's super yummy, and not over powering at all. No nasty after taste or anything! I'm hoping I can find it in case form at Costco. They have a bunch of other flavors, but I was really wanting chocolate and this did the trick nicely! Yum, yum, yum!
I came home, unloaded and then turned around to the barn to clean up Wil and drop off her new duds. It was too warm for her to actually WEAR her blanket, but it's supposed to cool off again towards the end of the week. We also got through a whole mane re-do and a dirt knock off on the cross-ties, like a grown-up horse. When we attempted to trim up her billy goat beard, however, this happened....
And my damn clippers broke. She struck them right out of my hand the *beep*. I attempted to lay down the law, and slipped.
The end result, however:
Looking a touch like a mule.
Cookies make EVERY expression better.
She thinks she's pretty clever, but at least her mane is shorter, and she's not covered head to toe in mud. I was looking at some of the pictures that I took of her, and she really looks like a gelding I used to ride when we lived in Hawaii, named Vinny. Same color and markings, he was just taller by about 2 inches. I'll have to have M take a picture the next time he is down, so you can see how tall she really is!
Also...
Guess who was 1 MONTH NEW on Monday!
That's right! This bundle of adorable!
She's growing by leaps and bounds, sleeping through the night (almost), and is full of more and more smiles everyday! I love her to death, and wouldn't trade being her Momma for the world.
We spent her 1 month birthday driving all over the state visiting a friend whose son was in the hospital to have his tonsils out. That little boy was SUCH a trooper!
We also got the rest of her gDiapers, visited her Daddy at work, AND went to Dancing with the Stars where she discovered an intense love for ceiling fans. A very full birthday day!
The horseworld can really make me sick sometimes. People can get foggy eyed when it comes to money, and unfortuantly the people with the most amount of money are the ones that call the shots. Those people are not typically horse people. That usually isn't good news for the horses.
I read a blog post a little while back about a mare named Poetin. You can read the reader's digest version on that site. The basic idea of it is that the owners of this mare went bankrupt, and hid the mare from the bank. When the bank found and siezed her, she was lame. She was then sent to auction and filled with steriods so that she wouldn't appear so. Her mild lameness was said to be a mild injury to the seasmoid bone. When she arrived at her new home, 10 hours away, it was discovered that she was drastically lame and while her new owners tried their hardest to save her, she developed lamanitis (to the point where her hooves started to fall away) and had to be put down. She was cloned, and her eggs flushed. Her clone, a filly, is living in France.
My boss and I were talking about this a little bit tonight during chores and she agreed with me that the horse industry can be so full of sick people. The bank that owned the mare after she was discovered are the ones that filled her with steriods in order to make the sale. The mare's life and well being was blatently shoved aside for an amount of money. I'm not a PETA fanatic, but this is just plain wrong. The bank was obviously not equine friendly, and I am glad that the final owners of the mare have sued the bank. The 10 hour trailer ride would have been torture for the mare, not to mention being ridden and shown at auction. It really makes me sick.
All this took place back in 2005, and I know that I'm way behind the times, but it made me angry enough to want to blog about it, to get it out of my head.
On another, more spoiled note, I got to go do chores tonight at the barn, and Wil was actually snuggly tonight!
She wasn't even trying to bite me!
When she had her filly last spring, I was the one person in the barn that she would chase out of her stall, teeth bared and ears pinned. I couldn't even feed her in the morning without using the 'bob and weave' method.
Now she'll snuggle (for about 20 seconds) from time to time, and I make sure to never take advantage of our time. Gotta love those mares, eh?
Somebody asked me a few weeks ago, if my horse were a type of music, what type would she be?
I shrugged and grunted a little bit, but tonight as I was be-bopping along to Pandora Radio on my iPhone, while cleaning stalls, the answer hit me.
If Willow were a type of music, she'd be rap.
Usually fast paced... Willow is the one rocketing around her paddock at a million miles an hour.
Full of bad words... It's not very often that I'm around Willow when the 'f' word isn't flying. "Ow! You F*$&% wench, don't bite me." "Willow, would you just f*$*# SLOW DOWN?" "Don't f*$&#^ kick me you wench!" You get the idea.
Not something you want around your kids... She's a mare. A hot mare. A huge mare.
You usually can't fall asleep around it.. rap because it's loud, Willow because you'll more than likely end up dead, missing a limb, or feeling very humble at the least.
If you can drown out the words, and focus on the beat, it's not so bad.... Willow IS an amazing mare, you just have to get past her 'tude.
It inspires you to move... Nothing lights your fire like 16.3+ hands of teeth coming at your face.
I love her to death though. I mean really... just look at her!
I'll shut up about my perfectly opiniated mare now.
In other news, Shannon is fussy as ever, but we're taking it all in stride. She's growing like a weed, and that's great news. She'll be mellow as long as I'm holding her. When I put her down, all hell breaks loose, and lordy can that kid scream! It makes peeing a challange for sure. Motherhood is great, and M makes the sleepless nights a little bit easier. We don't have a schedule, but the bumpkin will only be a month on Monday. I don't have expectations at this point, other than just enjoying her. Our house is pretty much clean, the baby is happy, and I'm learning to love coffee.
All in all, life is great! I can't complain at all.
I'm off to spend way to much money on a new sheet for the Willow-monster, and enjoy some QT with my book!
I spend a lot of time alone throughout the course of the day, and while I don't think that it's a bad thing, it gives me a lot of time to think about the most random crud. That crud fills up my head, and then I can't sleep at night, so what better to do then unload all the randomness here. It really is the most random, non-important business.
1. I really, REALLY wish my hair would grow out. I swear it's been the same length since I got pregnant. Instead of having long, shiny locks of hair, like I imagined (because all the pregnancy books told me so), I have short hair that falls out in clumps. It's so sexy.
2. I can't wait to get back on my horse again, and get showing this summer. I CAN wait for, however, schooling in the warm up arenas. I'm lucky enough that I always seem to find myself on mares of the Alpha varity, so the seas always seem to part with a flick of an ear, but I hate dealing with the people who seem to be blind, deaf, and dumb to everything going on around them. I really think that a lot of people need 'student driver' bumper stickers for their horses hind ends. Also, don't get pissed off at me when my mare takes a whack at you because you rode up her ass. You can feel her attitude from across the arena, don't pretend like you don't see it. Dingbat.
3. On the topic of student drivers...they should have their own roads, or even towns. When my kid is screaming her head off in the backseat because she's hungry, I don't want to get stuck behind you going 5 miles an hour, because there is a raindrop and a half on the road and your scared. What do you do when faced with life decisions that are bigger than choose A, B, or C?
4. My kid enjoys being naked. All. The. Time. She can be screaming and crying, as soon as I take her diaper/clothes off... peace. Too bad she can't be trusted not to pee everywhere, or this would be a bedtime must. I have a feeling that she's going to be 'that kid' in kindergarten.
5. I love Dog the Bounty Hunter. I'm obsessed with the show. They look like they can be the most trashy, rough around the edges bunch that you've ever seen. Yea, I think that they go a little overboard with the bullet proof vests, and very large utility belts, but if you watch the show. Like really watch the show, they are such good people. They have such big hearts, and I think that they really have turned a lot of the criminals that they catch around for the better. Not only does Dog scare the bologna out of them, I'd never screw up again in my life if I had him coming after me, but with goodness too. I watched and episode yesterday with a pregnant lady. She was awful to them, evaded capture, was nasty when they caught her, but because she was pregnant, they rebonded her, and took her to the hospital to get checked out. I don't think that that's trashy at all.
6. Speaking of trashy... I think that the media, if they are going to focus on famous people (which there is no getting around... I'll admit I love my celeb gossip just as much as the next girl) they should do a little more focusing on Will & Kate, and a little less focusing on the Kardashians. I watch the shows, and I love Khloe. She knows what she wants in life, has a stable marriage, and I don't think that she's let the fame go to her head too much. Kourtney has her business mostly together. But Kim. Oh lordy lord. The train wreck that that girl is. And the leader of the whole shebang, Kris, is the worst enabler to her I've seen in my life. Will & Kate on the other hand. I strive for my marriage to model theirs, and I can only dream of having as much class as Kate has in her pinky toe.
7. Facebook needs to stop changing. Enough said.
8. I'm beginning to dislike my husband's job more with every passing day. It's nice that I can talk to him, and that he's not in danger, but crickets the unknowns are beginning to pile up. I suppose that that's the military life for you, but it's the most annoying thing ever when you're a person who likes to have a plan, and control. M says that I'll grow out of it, and I'll learn to handle it. I know that there is nothing that I can do about it, but this paragraph of whining has made me feel better. A little.
9. Coffee is my new best friend. Without it, I'd be insane.
10. I seriously married the best man on the planet. He was up with Shannon from 11-3 last night, so that I could get some sleep. He's a hero in more ways than one. Or two. Or fourteen.
11. I don't hate anybody, and I don't judge people based on their past. Unless they didn't something REALLY bad, like murder or rape. If you did that, your a scumbag and my view on your will never change. Luckily I don't surround myself with those kinds of people. I surround myself with my muchkin and my husband, because I really don't have a ton of friends. I go for quality, not quantity.
That's really it, for now. I'm sure there is more floating around in there, but being able to dump it all out onto this page has really made my brain feel a little bit emptier, so that it can fill right back up again.
Off to tend to screaming baby (no I don't let her scream so that I can write this... that would be just wrong) and my screaming stomach. Milking like a dairy cow makes a girl HUNGRY!
